I remember her telling me she loved looking up at the night sky and at all the stars. Once, we sat on her dock late one night and looked at the reflection of the night sky in the water. I held her shoulders and we listened to the beauty in the silence.

Looking up at the stars tonight, I wonder if she sees them too. When she does see them, I wonder if she thinks about whether I see the stars. I wonder if she gets lonely or if she’s found a new love. I hear she’s found someone to keep her safe at night and to keep her from feeling lonely. I imagine she has someone to call when she wants to hear the sound of another person’s voice, and I’m certain she rests her head on someone else’s chest to hear the simple rhythm of another’s heartbeat.

I’ve found a new love interest, at least. Nothing important yet, you know, but it’s something.

I still think about her, it’s true, but I’ve moved on.

I’ve moved on to looking at the stars alone.
I’ve moved on to taking long walks alone, and driving alone.
I’ve moved on to cooking for one.
I’ve moved on to listening to my own lonely heart beat and sad songs on the radio.

So I still think about her sometimes, especially when the night sky is clear and the stars are bright.

~

After quite possibly the worst nervous breakdown I’ve had in months, I’m feeling pretty depressive. I sincerely apologize for the post shrouded in depression and nostalgia.

- Debbie

p.s. free write wednesday is happening on Friday because I do what I want, okay?